Resources for Abuse
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Abuse. This is a big issue in the church that every believer should become deeply aware of.
This page will serve as a resource for those experiencing or seeking awareness of abuse in the church or cult groups. This includes spiritual as well as physical and other forms of abuse.
If you or a loved one is experiencing any kind of abuse, please seek help. If a law has been broken, call the local authorities.
Table of Contents
The role of government in abuse
If someone has advised you not to go to the authorities, you may be under some form of spiritual abuse. The Bible tells us:
Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God, that by doing right you silence the ignorance of foolish people. Act as free people, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bond-servants of God. - 1 Peter 2:13–16 NASB (2020)
But those who are outside, God judges. REMOVE THE EVIL PERSON FROM AMONG YOURSELVES. - 1 Corinthians 5:13 NASB (2020)
So,
- We should go to the authorities so they can punish those who do wrong.
- We should not conceal wrongdoing. Unfortunately there are elders in churches do the exact opposite.
- The church should not associate with the unrepentant abuser.
This does not mean there is no redemption for those who have done wrong.
Church discipline. Is your church doing this biblically?
[15] "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. [16] "But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.' [17] "And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. [18] "Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. [19] "Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. [20] "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them." - Matthew 18:15–20 NKJV
[9] I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. [10] Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. [11] But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner--not even to eat with such a person. [12] For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? [13] But those who are outside God judges. Therefore "put away from yourselves the evil person." - 1 Corinthians 5:9–13 NKJV
Biblical church discipline is simple. It is the responsibility of the entire church, not just a few elders. This process starts with individual confrontation, then two or three witnesses and if the matter is still not resolved it is then brought to the whole church. The goal of church discipline is to encourage an offender to repent and be reconciled to God. After much grace and effort is made to convince the offender to repent & reconcile, and they do not, then they should be disfellowshipped with. That's it.
Church discipline has nothing to do with any elders having authority over others and dictating your personal relationship with Christ (2 Corinthians 1:24). For example, disagreeing with your church's view on secondary issues or refusing to obey unbiblical church covenants do not fall under the scope of church discipline.
In cases of abuse, many churches put the burden of reconciling onto the victim rather than the abuser. This is backwards.
Resources
The following are just some resources that bring light to abusive practices and how the church is truly meant to operate. The resources here are mostly focused on marriage and church hierarchy issues. But much more can be found just by perusing the sites.
Books
Fraudulent Authority: Pastors Who Seek to Rule Over Others - Authored by Wade Burleson, this book exposes spiritual abuse by authoritarian pastors who "rule over" their congregations. It also teaches how true authority is given by God through spiritual gifts.
Websites
Under Much Grace - A resource for spiritual abuse. Especially for women caught up in the harmful teachings of Ware, Gothard, Baucham, Piper, MacArthur and others.
Women in Ministry - A helpful general resource for women seeking truth about who God made them to be. There are some helpful posts related to spirtual abuse & false authority in the church.
MM Outreach - General resource for those stuck in cults (Jehovah's Witness, Seventh Day Adventist, Mormonism, etc).
Bare Marriage - Excellent resource for healthy, evidence-based, biblical commentary on marriage.
The Wartburg Watch - A blog that looks at abuse issues within the church.
Wade Burleson - A substack with a focus on exposing false authority in the church. There is a free tier subscription. See also
A Cry for Justice - Resources for victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse.
Articles
Helper: You Keep Using That Word for Women - But it doesn’t mean what you think it means, Carmen Joy Imes, 2022.
Does a woman have a spiritual covering? or need one? - Husbands don't cover their wives, nor do pastors cover their congregations. Jesus covers all!
Church Membership Covenants and God’s Word to the Wise - Reasons to say no to signing church membership covenants.
A Note on Hebrews 13:17 - Getting to the truth about ruling and obeying in Hebrews 13. Also see.
Marg Mowczko - What does it mean to be a leader in the church?
I found that Marg does a wonderful job at explaining authority in the Church.
What was the job description of Jesus’ apostles? "...nowhere in the four Gospels does Jesus plainly tell the disciples that they have the authority to lead, govern, or organise his people, using any of the typical words for leadership"
Jesus on Leadership & Community in Matthew’s Gospel - "Christian leadership and ministry is about being a servant, even a slave. That is, the calling and authorisation from God to function as a minister is the commission to serve God and his people as a slave would."
Authority in the Church - Christian ministers have authority to serve through the giftings that God has distributed to us.
So who has an authority to function in a ministry? Anyone and everyone whom God has authorised, gifted and equipped for that ministry, whether that person is male or female. In the church age, the Holy Spirit equips both men and women for ministry. In every New Testament passage that speaks about spiritual gifts, there is no gender distinction implied or stated, even for leadership and teaching gifts. The Holy Spirit gives his gifts as he determines without apparent regard for gender (1 Cor. 12:11; Heb. 2:4). The authority to minister comes from God. It is an authorisation to engage in a certain ministry on his behalf. Hopefully, the church recognises the gifting and calling from God in individuals, and allows, endorses, and encourages the ministry of these people. The authorisation to minister is not an authority over another person, so the question about whether a woman can have authority over a man is largely irrelevant and shows a mistaken view of godly authority and ministry gifting.
Also see Acts 2:17–18; Romans 12:6–8; 1 Corinthians 12:7–11 & 27–28; 1 Corinthians 14:26–33; Ephesians 4:11–12; Hebrews 2:4; 1 Peter 4:9–11
Papers
On The Compatibility of Ontological Equality, Hierarchy and Functional Distinctions - Alan Myatt, Ph.D - Myatt. This excellent paper touches on hierarchical issues in the church and the pagan origins of this kind of top-down authority.
Is it rational to separate ontology [being] from teleology [purpose] and ethics [value]? Can there be a disjunction between ontology, the essence of an entity, and its ethical relationships with other entities? No, the theory of action and value is necessarily linked to ontology, and if this is the case it would follow that a necessary hierarchy in one area logically implies a necessary hierarchy in the other. The result is that a hierarchy of function necessarily points to a hierarchy of being. On this reading of the coherence of world views an eternally necessary functional hierarchy would be incompatible with ontological equality between the members of the hierarchy....The assumptions of the Chain of Being have their roots in the West in Aristotelian and Platonic thought, where the natural division of society into superiors and subordinates was taken for granted. This vision was developed into an all-encompassing philosophy and world view in neo-platonist thought and was appropriated by early Christian apologists as a means of expressing the faith in response to philosophical attacks. It eventually became entwined with the theology of the church and set the agenda for its theory of society.
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